I knew these feelings would come

Well, this Sunday started my first regular set of Sunday’s at my new church.  I enjoyed the Sunday School class and the discussion on the 6th chapter of the book of John.  The service was good, and yet, I had that uneasy feeling when everyone started greeting each other, feeling a little insecure, yet knowing things are going to just have to take time.  I think it’s like this everywhere, in jobs, in families, in churches, it’s sometimes hard to be the new person.  You get a bit self conscious and wonder if everyone is looking at you, but then I find myself worshipping in total abandonment and know that is a  huge part of how I connect with God.  It was interesting in the Sunday school class when we discussed back in Matthew 16:7, about John The Baptist, where Jesus asked the people what did you come here to see…?  The thought was raised what do we come to church for?  What do we come to see?  Do we seek entertainment?  Do we seek fellowship or warm fuzzies?  I am sure there are many reasons we all come to church.  Now, I was once again faced with what was mine?  Never mind that fact that I drive an hour to go to this church, so to me this question is quite important indeed!!  I felt God called me here after several things took place over a long period of time. I felt that as a student in seminary, being a part of this denomination and church would help me to one day be able to fulfill the call that God has placed on my life, even if I don’t know what that all is supposed to look like, God does.  So as I went online today and listened to my previous pastor unveil new and exciting plans for his church, I had to trust and believe once again all the things that God has led me through to get me to this point.  I  remember too, how my former pastor said that I’d have feelings of questioning myself if I made the right decision, which I know I did, I just didn’t think it was going to hit me so soon, but God did, and perhaps it’s good that it did, before I had too much time go by to make me question even more.   It all  left me feeling a bit surreal; after all, I just returned home from my nieces high school graduation, and as the class was talked to and encouraged in their new life ahead, I sat there thinking on my new week  of seminary starting tomorrow, and how excited I was for all God is going to teach me this semester.  Then I got a message on facebook on how I was missed at my former church by a friend, then comes that grand sermon of the plans my former church is  unpacking.  Yes, I knew this was going to happen.  I may of not know the details, but I had mentally prepared myself for such a time as this.  I know that there will always be changes where ever I go, and as I told my friend on facebook, I have to trust and believe that I am walking in obedience.  Is it scary and uncertain?  Yes, but change always is.  I have to keep looking back at all that God has done to get me to this point and continue to trust that it’s all going to be O.K.  I don’t know what that looks like, but all I know is that today has enough worries for itself, and I will not get ahead of Jesus.  So, today was mixed with an array of emotions, some exciting, some uncertain, some scary, some sad, and some happy.  I guess it’s been somewhat of an emotional day, and isn’t that the beauty of humanity, that God has wired us with such detail! As I prepare now to drift into a sweet sleep, I know that tomorrow will come and God will have much for me to do to keep me busy and focused on him, reminding me that it’s all gonna be O.K. as I trust and obey.

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4 thoughts on “I knew these feelings would come

  1. I can relate to both the feeling of loss and doubt, as I have been working thru my own transition. God’s adventures are exciting, but sometimes I wish they were a little easier on my emotions. I don’t know if that is because I am an emotional person or because my faith is not what it should be. Either way, thanks.

  2. Robin, you certainly are an inspiration to many. I will continue to pray for you through this time of transition in your life, and that God will continue to bless you as you follow Christ. Change is always uncertain, but you have the essential ingredient, FAITH, in your Heavenly Father who will never let you down. All you have to do is look up. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Love, Gracie 🙂

  3. Thanks Laddies for your thoughs and prayers. It is exciting and I know in time God will make all things clear. I just have to remember all that has gotten me to this point and keep on trusting. Thank God faith is one of my spiritual gifts, lol 🙂 It was great getting to know you a little bit Grace while serving in Wildflowers, I am sure we’ll be keeping up now on facebook. God bless you both too!!

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