I have to leave for work in a sec. but I really felt like this is a huge lesson that I had to re-learn today. I’ve been in a funk lately about where I am, but it all gets boiled down to one thing; and that is getting my priorities straight. I have a huge heart for serving, and I do try to serve at church and serve others, but, I must learn to serve my daughter first. Below are some of my recent thoughts I had after I spoke with a friend today. When I got off the phone, I had found my daughter had smeared my make up all over my carpet-not good! Lesson: serve your daughter first. Here is what I wrote; what are some of your thoughts and experiences of getting your priorities straight?
I was talking to a friend today, who made a few good points. I think for me, I have such a big heart, and I reallly need to take my stuff to God more and find peace with who I am as a person and a mom. I think I want to be used by God so bad that I just start serving here, or serving there. I think so many times that “hey, I’m a mature Christian, and I should be serving”, but perhaps I forget that Olivia comes first, and I need to be serving her before the church or a lifegroup, or a ministry. I think I look around at others too much and judge, or want what they have. I guess I need to keep re-focusing on me. My friend said to me, that she use to be really drawn to me b/c I was always trusting God, and I was secure in that, and now it seems like the Devil got ahold of me and started messing with me again. God does not want us in anxiety constantly, and I think I feel guilty allot at church, feeling like there are so many needs to be filled over here, or over there, and there is never enough help. I don’t know why I felt that I had to carry all that weight of worry, guilt and anxiety on me. There are plenty of people who can serve and perhaps they choose not to for whatever reason. Right now, in my life, in this season, Olivia has to come first, before serving, before doing any type of ministry. It’s not about me, my confort, but it’s 110% about her, and her needs. I think I need to stop feeling bad for the church b/c there are always needs to be met. I thnk that I have to focus on my daughter, and her needs. My#1 role is a mom, and I need to see that as my ministry to my daughter, being a good steward of my responcibliities as a mom, and not worry about serving the church so much. I have to find my peace and balance, I have to get my priorities in order, and I need to let go of my big heart to serve others so much and serve who God has placed right in front of me, which is my daughter. I think doing this will lead people to respecct me more, and see me as a person who is trying to get their life in order. I know too all this emailing has to stop , it’s good to share, but I need to stop typing and start living out my life.