This is a post back from May on my other blog: Desperate For More of Him, but I wanted to bring some of my seminary posts and links over here to this blog. So here is my first blog post here as I begin the count down to the new chapter of my life in seminary this fall at Asbury Theological Seminary, which I will begin online through their virtual campus.
Well, I knew this post would come sooner or later, and so here it is. For most people who know me, or see me on facebook, it has been made public knowledge that I strongly have felt the call to attend seminary. For me, this was not an overnight realization, although sometimes it could look or feel that way. Many know that I’ve been unemployed for the past year, which, like everything else has been a blessing and a curse. “I’ve grown allot with Jesus”, now seems like an understatement, but I’ve also been humbled in many forms, and had my share of holy temper tantrums that I freely shared with anyone within PC distance. I’ve also accomplished allot; such as well, my undergrad. for one, slowly learning to organize my time and my life better, and learn the never-ending art of daily surrender to the Father. If you’ve been reading this blog at all, you know that I am a very passionate and very open person who wants to be used by God in big ways; but as I type that last sentence, I am reminded that His ways are always backwards from ours, and so I tread that line with a bit of Holy fear and submission to His will on my life. I guess for me I feel that this is the next step in many things God. It will be part learning in allot of different areas of the Christian Church, and History, part continued sanctification of me, and part building relationships with classmates and peers who will end up shaping me into who God desires me to be. As I went through the application process, I had to write an entrance essay and provide pastoral references. Easy enough, but for me, this was a huge affirmation in the process. As I mentioned, many of my “holy temper tantrums” got thrown in the face of my pastors and some of my church leaders. It was a way for me to deal with my hurts, my concerns, my growth, and just whatever God has been doing with me. I say this, b/c I shared some really hard stuff with them, and I felt that through it all; this call on my life would be the stopping point if their ever was one; but instead my news seemed to be welcoming. Perhaps they thought I was up for the challenge, or needed to be stretched in this direction, but perhaps more than that, they understood the call more than I did. I am ever grateful for them, especially my senoir pastor who has been a huge help in helping me understand this call stuff better. Along with the excitement of hearing this very clear call on my life, it’s met with lots of unknowns for what God is up to in it all, but as I was reminded today by an awesome blog post at Going to Seminary http://www.goingtoseminary.com/god-honoring-reluctance/that even great people like Moses doubted when He heard the call from God to lead the people out of Egypt. God said to Him, as He does me “Go, for I will be with you”. So that is really what I needed to hear today; that even though I don’t feel sufficient in my own strength, that I don’t feel that I have enough Bible knowledge, experience, or any other measure I may be looking at, the bottom line is that God has called, so I will obey. What He has started in me, He will finish and it’s good to know that my reluctance and fears are well known among seminary students at all levels. Thank you Jesus for once again using others in my path to help remind me that everything is going to be O.K. and that you will work out everything for your perfect will as I continue to surrender and obey to you. I love you Lord! Just had to say it again!