Deepening My Desires, He’s Not Done With Me After All

I think we all tend to get ourselves into these little funks from time to time; ya know, we’re walking with God fine for the most part, then we might (like myself), get a bit discouraged when things don’t go our way, or when we can’t see what God is up to.  The last couple weeks or so have kind of been like that for me.  As I have been growing closer , desiring more of Him, I have also found that I can loose myself in my self doubt if I am not careful.  The past week, I sort of hit a bump, didn’t do my devotionals,  and just winged it with God for the most part.  There was plenty of my high energy praise and w0rship music running in the background, but my heart knew I had to have more of Him, and more of whatever it is that He has for  me.  My heart has been changing, and I have been wanting to be more of His hands and feet here on earth, but I can also  get lost just thinking about it.  There are so many needs.  How do I pick the right one?  Where am I suppose to serve?  Then the doubt comes when I look back at all my failed attempts; forgetting that it was God’s way of helping me to surrender and trust.  Last night as I was in bed, I had a hard time falling to sleep.  My heart was restless to be with God.  Of course I was spiritually hungry, I had practically neglected Him all week.  I was getting physically hungry too as my stomach started to growl.  All of a sudden my body got cold and I leaned up against the heater by my bed.   My heart quickly started racing, and I started to think of the homeless who may be hungry and probably go days without food.  They must be cold too, especially at this time of year.  God put the words Jesus said to Peter in my head “Do you love me? Feed my Sheep. I thought OK God, perhaps I need to go and volenteer somewhere, yes?? Silence.  Why can’t you just tell me what I am suppose to do!  You put this stuff in me, why can’t you just explain it better, please.  I looked over to my ipod, tired, and not in the mood for music (I was obviously frustrated with God at this point).  I looked at my list of podcasts that I subscribed to, and rarely listen to.  God spoke to me and my desires last night through John Eldredge’s Podcast.  You can find them at his website Ransomed HeartHere are a few points that he had mentioned that I wanted to share.  God was speaking to me once again through others to get my attention, and He usually does this through audio/visual means since He knows that is the way he can best commuicate His point to me.   Today I listened to Him speak to me at church when I felt it in my heart to give a tith to an Aids project in Gabon Africa that our church is a part of.  This was a small seed Jesus planted in me, and one that I am so happy to hear and felt blessed to obey.   Thank You Jesus for reminding me that your not done with me yet, and that you are probably just beginning.  I just need to chill out a bit and Let you do whatever you are doing in me.   These will serve as good reminders for me the next time I get impatient with God.  From Podcast dated 11/1/2007

God has to develope firmness of purpose in us.

We have to endure in hope or it wouldn’t be hope.

It’s a process that God takes us through as he developes us for our callings and desires.

Crisis developes character so God can empower us to do what He would have us to do

God wants to give us the desires of our hearts.

We need to persevere with desire

James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials becasue you know that the testing of your faith developes perserverance .  Perserverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything”. NIV

God says in hard times “Be still and know that I am God” Know that I am for you.  I will fullfill the desires of your heart, but I have to develope you.

God first awakens our desires, then, deepends them, then fullfills them.

More freedom, more fighting, more victory, more streangth.

Oswald Chanbers once said ” God gives us a vision and then He takes us down into the valley and batters us into the shape of the vision; and it’s there where most of us faint and give way.  But God says don’t faint and don’t give way b/c I have to take you through this to be able to give you the desires of your heart”.

God wants to get the self out of the way to bring the real me into life.

God wants to make us a wine to pour out to the world. You can’t drink grapes.  You have to squeeze the grapes to produce the wine.

Very rarely God reveals His whole plan for our lives.  He loves surprises.

Your desires matter deeply to Him.

We need to trust and follow and fight for our hearts as a treasure.

Prayer:  Jesus, come and speak to us now. We invite you and give you permisson.  Jesus what should we do? Why do we have these desires? We know you have something for us.  What would you have us do?   What changes do we make?  What risks do we take?   What would it look like Jesus to trust you deeply and to act like our hearts matter to you?  John Eldredge 

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2 thoughts on “Deepening My Desires, He’s Not Done With Me After All

  1. Hi Robin,
    Perseverance…that’s a word near and dear to my heart (maybe that’s why my blog is titled PERSEVERE).
    I have come to realize it’s a Kingdom principle… God plants certain dreams or certain desires in our hearts. Then, suddenly or spread over time (maybe months, maybe years), we can feel like that dream is dead or those desires will never be met. Our dreams and the longing for those desires to be fulfilled are not dead, God is preparing us to be able to handle whatever our dream or desire may be. He may be burning the self-centered pride out of us, maturing our faith and hope in Him, building our character…etc. God is working behind the scenes, whether we can see Him working or not. We just need to obey and be patient.
    My favorite book is titled “The Upside of Adversity” by Os Hillman. Os speaks about perseverance, and here’s what he says…”Perseverance is falling down 100 times, and getting back up 100 times. We need to remember that to persevere doesn’t mean to keep on trying to knock the door down, it’s waiting however long it takes before God decides to open the door.”

    Blessings to you!

  2. “chill out a bit” for sure, and don’t put so much thought into it. Actions speak louder that words, think about the Nike slowgan and “Just do it.”
    I think sometimes that people think that they have to do some great act to make a difference, but they don’t. Think about this, 100 people doing 1% of the work vs. 1 person doing 100% of the work. You don’t have to do it all. You just need to do your share. That’s why God has so many people.
    Remember what Jesus called us to do in, Matthew 28:19 to the 11 disciples. “Go therfore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
    God understand the process of duplacation. His, 1 Son commissioned 11 others to share His message to the world and today you and I are both Christians touched by the same Holy Spirit as those 11 disciples.
    I myself struggled with this for a while wondering if I was good enough to talk about such an assome God, but then I realized that all I needed to do was open up my mouth to others and say something. Maybe, something as simlpe as a simle and Hello.
    We all have received gifts that we can use to help fulfill the Great Commission, As we obey we have comfort in the knowledge that Jesus is always with us. If God is for you; then who can be agiasnt you?

    Blessings…

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