Thinking About "The Church" A Testimony Of Sorts

Well, more of what has been itching my heart lately is coming out. I’ve realized it’s good to grow, it’s good to dance; it’s good to be swept away by the awesome, breath-taking Love of God; to have music speak to your soul, to get lost in worship, to grow, grow, grow. I realize that we never stop growing, and this too, is good. What is coming to light now in my heart as I think back on this journey of having a relationship with Jesus that started as a child, raised in Catholicism and scratching my head all the way; to truly coming to Christ in my late 20’s. I think back to the the ministry that God worked through. It was called Hot Church. It was ministry that was trying to reach the un-churched and break down the walls of traditional ways of “doing church”. It is where I began to grow and learn, to desire and thirst for the word; where I had amazing fellowships and a strong network of friends to do life with, and pastoral guidance. Sadly, through a variety of circumstances, the ministry ended and many of us got plugged into a large non-denominational church; which I still attend today. In the beginning, things were going pretty good. We started a new singles ministry at the church and things started to sync again for us. At one point, (I can’t remember time frames), I took a job that required me to work on Sundays; which, (to make a long story short), became my falling away. After much emotional and spiritual pain and anguish of becoming a single mother, I knew that I had to get back into church. I sought out pastoral counseling, and the pastor even helped me move out of an ungodly relationship. I started coming back to church only to find things very different. There was constant change, which was a little too fast for me at the time. The singles ministry that I belonged to was gone, friends that I once knew moved away and/or where married with a new set of responsibilities, and it would seem every week that I did attend there was another announcement of a long time staff member giving there resignation. At one point I realized that the pastor who had counseled me was no longer there, and the only response that I got was an email to contact the church board on such matters. What? You gotta be kidding me? It was at this point, I started to feel the abandonment that exists in churches all over the place. As hard as it was to keep coming to church, I kept coming. Sure, there were weeks that I didn’t but, eventually things would even out, and I started to get plugged in again. I tried to start a single moms ministry a few times that never took off, and I have tried to lead a Bible Study on Wed. that also had very little response, and is currently going no where. As much as my sadness has brought me to utter despair and complete surrender, it has also made me realize what a mess our churches are in. In a previous blog, I wrote how God has been throwing things in front of me; whether a book, worship CD, another blog or website, etc.. Well, yesterday, as I was on my facebook, I saw a status update from one of previous pastors that use to belong to my church. As my curiosity led me onto his page, I clicked on the website a church that he pastors now. I found his sermons and started to listen to them. His series “A Heart to Heart Conversation”, was very much speaking to me. He was talking about how The Church is the hope of the world, and as ” A Church”, we’ve often blown it in many ways. We get caught up in our buildings, traditions, idols, ministries, ect…. and we forget what the church is there for. It is there for the broken; (for people like me, a single mom), people needing hope and a message to connect to, people who can be loved in their geinue ‘messy” state. You see, all this growth that I have been undergoing, (read my past blogs), it has brought me back to this central theme that has gotten buried. I actually have several word documents and notepad entries that I have tried to sort out as well. All this writing; whether you’ve read it or not, comes back to a central theme that God is making ever so clear to me now. The love the God has poured into me, through all growth and realization; what has actually happened is that God has circumcised my heart in a way that it is truely becomming more like the heart of Jesus. It is this heart transformation that needs to take place in our churches that will truly change us from the inside out, which gives us the power to Go and become God’s hands and feet in a broken world. This is what I have been praying for with my church. That we would all experience The Love of God and to take that Love and give it away. So now, my hearts cry is becoming for the church. Not just mine, but all of ours. We all have this problem in all of our churches. I could go on and on about this, but I think I made my point. If we are really honest about things, you’d agree. We have the power of Jesus living in all of us. We can do so much, and we can reach each other in such profound ways, if we’d learn to lay aside our pride, our ways, and break down the barriers that hold our churches in bondage from reaching out to a broken world. Because Friends, That Is What We Are Called To Do! In closing this post, which is just a tip of the iceberg of my heart, and the things that God is making known to me; I would like to pray for all of our churches, that we would come to a place of surrender to Jesus, and completely obey Him in every way we know how to. I pray too, that God show me what to do my my enthusiasm that burns in my heart, and that I would hear and Go where ever He calls.

Blessings Home

4 thoughts on “Thinking About "The Church" A Testimony Of Sorts

  1. Robin, I found your blog today and wanted to let you know how moving your post was for me. Many of us have been wounded by churches and people there who profess to be Christians, but are little better than what the world offers. A true and honest assessment is needed, and sincere repentence for the neglect of the wounded and broken. God bless you for sharing your heart, and for sounding the alarm. We as believers, and members of the Body of Christ, need to get back to the simplicity of the gospel and humbly share the love of God with one another.


  2. Robin you are so right. The churches today have forgotten about the central key to the church which is God and Jesus Christ. The church has forgotten about bringing the lost souls back to Jesus Christ. It is all about money now as more and more “mega” churches are popping up everywhere and growing while the smaller churches are closing their doors. It breaks my heart to see people say I belong to so and so’s church because it has 25,000 members. My question to them is what is being preached about Jesus Christ and God? What is their message about salvation. Most can not answer because they are so happy they belong to a “mega” church. I am sorry to say, but a “mega” church is nothing if the Word of God and Salvation are not preached. If repentance is not taught what good is the church? I agree with you. We as Christians need to get the message of Christ, salvation and repentance back into our churhces. Awesome story my friend.

    Valerie Lynn

  3. Hey Robin, You’re right…our churches need to be a hospital for the hurting and broken hearted, not a resting place for the saints. The harvest is huge and the workers are few…it has always been that way, we as true followers need to ask God for more workers(uhh, didn’t Jesus say that?). You have a beautiful heart my friend! Keep on PERSEVERING…no matter what!

    God bless you!

  4. Robin, thank you for visiting my blog, neglected as may be lately. This post touched my heart in so many ways. I have a yearning deep within me for true Christianity, for the true Body of Christ. I see so much in the church about money. Jesus told us to feed the poor and clothe the naked, not build buildings. We are trying to make home church work for us. It gets a bit trying sometimes because of distances and people having different doctrines but that is where my heart’s desire is. God already provided homes for us so no need for the building. It also keeps things smaller so it can be more intimate. It’s hard to know everyone well enough to encourage and exhort when your in a very large congregation. Sorry, didn’t mean to ramble there. Thank you for speaking out and sharing your heart! May God richly bless you as you seek Him! Joyce
    PS I also believe that there is not nearly enough preaching on repentance in most churches today.

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