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Well 2011 is finally here and many of us have made resolutions, and are excited to see how our efforts are gonna pay off. I for one have decided to read the Bible in a year, hence getting on a plan. I know there are tons out there. I had used a really good one at You Version during the Christmas Season and an Advent Wreath calendar from Focus on the Family also have Logos Bible Software and Bible Explorer on my laptop that utilize reading plans as well, but I really like to be in the Physical Bible when I do my reading. Those Pc tools are great for reference and study, but nothing, in my opinion takes the place of a bound Bible. I found some great plans at Discipleship Journal and have personally chosen the Book-at-a-Time Bible Reading Plan. For me it’s just easy to tackle one thing at a time, then having to be all over the Bible in a single reading. I have enough multi-tasking and multi-reading to do in seminary so I want my Bible reading to be simplistic. This brings me to my other plan for the New Year; simplicity. I have been cleaning out a lot of clutter in pretty much every area of my life and have declared my own personal theme of peace. Jesus was the Prince of Peace and I am seeking to simplify my life and have peace. We can get so tangled in the stuff of life that before we know it we feel overwhelmed and feeling deflated and unfocused. I have vowed to take things one month at a time, Planning out as best as can, but at the same time, living in the moment and enjoying the simple things in life like spending time with my daughter, and helping her also to learn the Bible stories in her books. I have taken a few small steps in organizing things such as my files on my computer and getting rid of many links and sites I have saved in folders that I never got back to last year in hopes of acquiring yet more information. It’s been interesting too to come to the realization that we all have our own preferences and that’s Ok. For example, I was looking at ereaders online, reading reviews, ect; and people can debate products till they are blue in the face but the deciding factor is always preference. Some folks like touch screens some don’t', some swear by an ipad and all its multi-functions, while others swear by e-ink technology such as in the Kindle and non-color nook. I bring up this silly point to bring us back to what one reviewer stated which was what does it matter the tool you use, just as long as your reading. Same can be said in pretty much anything. What Bible reading plan, what study method, what tools you choose to use to accomplish your goal doesn’t really matter, just as long as it is helping you accomplish your goal, then the rest of that comes down to individual preference usually. Another interesting trend (if you want to call it that) I have noticed this past year was the onslaught of reality TV and reality Face book. Yes all you have to do I turn on the TV or click to your page on FB to get the latest scoop on how people live life. Guilty as charged, as a blogger, I say it, and likewise as a face book user; but it has gotten a little tiring for me recently. Do I really want to be spending my time checking in on peoples latest status updates or could I be utilizing my time better. Don’t get me wrong, FB is a great tool for keep up with friends and family, but it can also become dramaville if you let it. I personally have not had that bad of experiences, but we have all heard the stories, seen the woe is me post or the friends we had to delete for their constant inappropriateness in a public forum. Point being, all things in moderation and for me, I need to cut down on my “face time” with face book. Well, for now that about does it for me and my plans of a deeper dive into the word of God and simplifying so that I can hear and comune better with my Abba Father. Of course I’m gonna have to blog, that’s just the fun part of the journey. So let me close by asking you what your plan is for the New Year. What things do you want to change? How do you want to grow closer to God and what steps are you taking? Sharing the Journey is part of the Adventure!
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is on fire!.
Crunchy numbers
A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.
A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 5,400 times in 2010. That’s about 13 full 747s.
In 2010, there were 17 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 131 posts. There were 15 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 32kb. That’s about a picture per month.
The busiest day of the year was June 7th with 77 views. The most popular post that day was I knew these feelings would come.
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, blogsurfer.us, highcallingblogs.com, search.aol.com, and christianity.alltop.com.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for 2nd commandment, fully devoted follower of christ, not my will but yours be done, it’s in the valleys we grow, and robin richards.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.
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I knew these feelings would come June 2010
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6 Characteristics of a fully devoted follower of Christ. Are You Transparent For Christ??? April 2009
2 comments
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2nd Commandment August 2009
7 comments
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Being Busy-It’s the devil’s favorite tactic December 2009
3 comments
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It’s in the valley’s that we grow July 2009
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This week, after a year of wavering, I took another step of faith and became a member of the church God has leaded me to. I wanted to share a story of encouragement that is actually in 2 parts, because I couldn’t remember a song when I first shared this with some people. So I hope you are encouraged in your walk and your faith is strengthened as I share this.
Part 1:
I wanted to share how Awesome God has been in my life today. As you know, I shared how I was going to stand in front of church with the new membership class today to be officially welcomed in as members. It was kind of a big deal for me after all God has done to get me to this point. One of my consistent signs from God as I have journeyed to Wooster Church of the Nazarene, Seminary and now NTS, this past year have been birds flying in the sky with their wings spread open. ( I think they are hawks, but I am not sure), anyway, there have been times of crying out to God in the valley’s, as well as shouts of praise on the mountain top, and every time I cry out in a deep need, doubt, or praise, He shows me the birds soaring with their wings spread, which is always a reminder to me that He is near and He will raise me up on wings like Eagles, which also renews my faith and strength when I see them (Isaiah 40:31). Well, today, on my drive in to church, I had asked God once more out of my sheer nervousness of taking this next step of faith, and “sealing the deal” if you will, by becoming a member of the church. As I got closer to the church, I was anxiously looking to the sky for my sign. At one point I ran into an accident that made me take a detour, and it was at that moment I stopped asking for my sign, and starting praying for whatever happened on the road, that an entire fire truck would not even let cars get close; I started counting my blessings and realized I have no reason to worry; and feeling a bit selfish for asking; after all, God has been so faithful, with this and other signs continually along the way, so I had really no need for a sign. Later, after church on my drive back home, God showed me the bird in the sky, with it’s wings spread wide. I wasn’t looking for it, but He blessed me with it. As I continued to drive, other concerns came into my mind. As I flipped the radio channels and heard the same song that I heard when the first bird flew over my head, I also saw another bird with it’s wings spread out soaring around some other birds that were in the sky. At that point I lost it, I started laughing, then balling like crazy, because not only did God affirm the direction of my life at that point twice, but He was showing me how much He loves me and I was once again assured that all my faithfulness, sacrifices, and efforts to live for him are known and that He does have such a wonderful plan and purpose for my life. I thought I’d be daring and ask one more time, and sure enough several miles down the road there was one more bird with wings spread out that flew over my car. At that point I stopped asking and realized how faithful God always is. My faith was strengthened and I am so excited to continue to see what God is going to do with me. There are so many unknowns, but I have such a peace that God is going to do something awesome with me. So next time you see a bird soaring in the sky think of me and say a little prayer. I hope and pray my story blessed you and encouraged you today as you too journey on the path God has set before you
Part 2
I was thinking that I wanted to share the song I mentioned in my last post, but couldn’t remember it. Ha, it was on my ipod, I didn’t even know!! I wanted to share it with you, because God used music A LOT to speak to me, and this is another song that he spoke through. The link has the words; the song is called “walk on the water”, there is a line about stepping out in faith and walking on water in faith; Well, when I was in my great tension of coming to Wooster Naz. for good, I had read the book “If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat”. by John Ortberg, and The Holy Spirit had been prompting me for some time in this same way. So now, it’s like it’s all coming full circle, again!!!! To hear that song on my drive home 2x’s with all the birds soaring, WOW!! I wish I could tell you all the amazing things God has done with me, it’s AMAZING! And to lead me not only into the Church of the Nazarene, but to Wooster, where I have had so many God-encounters, and the sheer fact that it is an hours drive, it’s all God ordained, it’s very cool. I hope you enjoy the song.
This chapter starts as the Israelites turn back toward the desert as the Lord commanded. Then God begins to give specific direction as to which way they should go, how long they should travel, and how to behave when they encounter certain groups of people. The Lord reminds them that he has blessed them and has been with them, but clearly instructs them and tells them three different times that He will not give the people that they are encountering into their hands. Finally in verse 24, the Lord tells then that He is giving Sihon, King of Hesbon into their hands. He begins to tell them to take possession of it, engaging in battle; and that this very day, He will begin to put terror and fear of you on all the nations under heaven. God made the Spirit of Sihon stubborn and his heart obstinate in order to give him over to their hands. The Lord reminds them what he has just done and tells them to go and take possession of the land. Verse 33 states “The Lord our God delivered him over to us and we struck him down”; even after this victory, at the very end of this chapter, the Lord reminds them in v. 37 that in accordance with the command of the Lord our God, you did not encroach on any of the land of the Ammonites, neither the land along the course of the Jabbok not that round the towns of the hills”.
Application:
Well, putting the geography lesson aside, I think the basic message of this chapter is once again obedience. I can also see it as a possible test from God. After these people refused to listen to God in the first place that sent them back into the desert, He is checking to see if they are really ready to repent and put on their listening ears. It must have been frustrating for them to travel to all these different locations and not be able to take possession of them, even stating that he had given that right to others. I think that would have been a really hard pill to swallow; to have traveled and finally learn to obey, yet not reap any reward for it. I think at this point the lessons can be that obedience is primary, and that just because you are instructed to obey, don’t expect it to become like a magic wand for what you want to get. How many times do we go to God with this same attitude of “God if you just deliver me from this mess this time, I’ll never do it again”? And how many times, have you found yourself breaking that very promise? So perhaps God here is testing their true obedience to them? Perhaps when we think we are obeying and fail to see the fruit, we need to not give up, or get discouraged, but let it be a time of learning, and character building, and perseverance, and really showing God that our heart wants to obey for the right reasons, which is hopefully out of love and remembrance for all his has done for us; much like He reminded the Israelites in verse 7. I find it interesting too that God, in this verse not only reminds them that he has been with them, but also for the entire 40 years! I think that speaks volumes. I think God is trying to tell them “hey, I haven’t left you, and I provided all your needs, and watch over you, keeping you safe during this long period of time; so what’s the problem here?” And yet in Verse 9 God again does not let them take possession of the Land. He reminds them back in verse 7, chooses not to bless them in verse 9 and finally sees that perhaps they do trust and believe enough that He goes ahead and hands over the King, starting in verse 24, but even with that, and God hardening the Kings heart, at the end He still reminds them of their consequences; not being able to take over the land of the Amorites and the area of the Jabbok. Here, I think the application is that even though God may honor our obedience and bless us with victories in life, there are also root consequences of our prior actions that are still in place. I am sure we can all attest to this at some level. God is full of mercy and love, he is a God of 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 200000th, chances, but that doesn’t take away the consequences of our messes in the first place. This is a very humbling chapter for me, it helps me to remember the sovereignty of God, and yet be reminded that he will always come to our rescue and want to give us his good gifts. It also reminds me of going around the mountain, how many times do we have to keep re-learning our lessons for God to see that we are really serious about making a change in our lives?
I have decided today that I have to retire one of my Bibles. It’s actually the first Bible that I received back as an early teen. Needless to say, it is full of markings and many of the pages are falling out. I though it be a good idea to go through and re-read my markings and possibly re-mark those verses in one of my other Bibles. As I was paging through, I came across the book of Deuteronomy, which is one of my favorites, and had a lot of markings, so I thought I’d re-read it this morning, but really try and study and apply it chapter by chapter. So today is Chapter 1 and I thought I’d share my notes here. As you read mine, and maybe read the first chapter for yourself, ask how it applies to your life, and look for circumstances maybe presently or in the past where you have dealt with issues of obedience unto God.
Deuteronomy: 5th book of the Bible. It was written in 1410 B.C. Has 34 chapters. It is the last book of the Pentateuch. Author: Moses. “Deuteronomy” is from the Greek word “Deuteronomion” meaning “second lawgiving”. The book is said to be the longest sermon in the Bible. It restates many of the laws and teachings given in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers. It reminds God’s people of the faithfulness and saving power of God and stresses the importance of people’s gratitude for all the Lord has done. Moses challenges the Israelites to rededicate their lives to Serving the Lord. As you read this book, think about God’s daily care in your life and His desire that you dedicate your life to serving Him.
1:1-8 Moses commands the Israelites to leave Horeb.
1:9-18 Moses appoints leaders for the tribes that are growing too big to handle
1:19-25 Scoping out the land of the Amorites
1:26-46 Israel doubts and so God sends them packing.
Application:
Go where God leads you 1:6-7
Receive fully what God gives you 1:6-8
Choose leadership wisely, don’t show partiality, and help and support one another 1:9-18
Do what God commands; don’t fear or be discouraged. 1:19-25
Don’t doubt God when the circumstances look impossible 1:26-28
Remember what God has done 1:30-31. You must let this be enough even when you can’t see all the details-God can see it all, because He went ahead of you in your circumstance 1:32-33
When we doubt God or choose not to remember His goodness, we’re telling him we don’t really trust Him and open the door to escort him out of our problems and not giving him a chance to reveal his power through our lives 1:26-35.
He wants and will bless wholehearted followers 1:36.
Vv.37-46 reminds me how “one bad apple” can ruin the whole bunch. Even with the best leadership in place, like Moses, if the majority that we are trying to lead, be it a church, organization or family will not get on board with what we are trying to accomplish, the door of opportunity closes and the blessings that God wanted to grant will be given to those who will fully believe and not doubt. As verse 41 shows us, we don’t always get 2nd chances to make things right, so we must consistently seek God in prayer and ask for strength wisdom and increased faith, so that when God calls us to task we will be ready and willing to surrender all for the cause of Christ with unwavering confidence that He will bless our obedience, as we look back and remember all that He has brought us through. Father, forgive us for doubting your goodness and faithfulness in each of our lives. Help us to remember all that you have brought us t through and protected us from. Increase our faith and trust in you that we would go where you send us, and have confidence as we walk in your will. Amen.
The last two times I have decided to get my nails done, God continues to use it as a teachable moment. In both instances I went in with a mindset of getting my fake nail tips taken off b/c they seem to get in the way when I type, or when I attempt to take my contacts out; Nothing worse feeling than jabbing yourself in the eye continually while trying to remove your contacts that are already irritating. But all I needed done was for them to be cut down, reshaped, and made less thick so that I could use my hands more efficiently. As I sat there, I literally surrendered my hands over to the nail technician. Just like my will, my hands at times during the process wanted to naturally bend in one direction usually the opposite way, and the guy had to keep re-adjusting my hand so that he could shape my nails correctly. It was then that I remembered this lesson from God. He was saying, relax, give the guy your hand freely so that he can work on your nails the way he needs to. Hmmm, sounds a lot like how God continually asks me, and all of us to “hand over’ our lives to him on a daily, moment by moment basis of surrender. My hands were at the mercy of this guy, and as he rubbed and shaped my nails, there was a few moments of slight discomfort, but it was a necessary part of the process of getting my nails to look the way he knew they would look best. Here too, is the same analogy with God; he prunes us, shapes us, and forms us into his image, BUT we have to surrender and be at His complete mercy for it to take on the shape and form that He knows it should be; after all he knows best, he created us in the first place and knows how to best shape us if we will let him. So now as my nails are re-shaped and more functional, I find myself turning to God and asking the same thing. If you get your nails done, I hope you’ll think on this, and allow it to be a reminder for you to surrender to God. Creator God, thank you for using the simple things of our everyday lives to remind us to live our lives for you; to lay down what we think we need and be at your mercy because you know what is best. We are so grateful for your mercy and loving kindness, and we are so thankful that you never let go. Continue to teach us how to live lives of surrender and trust in you alone. In Jesus Holy Name, Amen.
It’s so funny when God fits things together like pieces of a puzzle. This week I’ve been reading a leadership book for seminary called “The Starfish and the Spider”, where in the fifth chapter begins the discussion and definitions of a catalyst; here are a few of their characteristic: Catalysts are all about letting go and trusting the community, they have a genuine interest in others they have a desire to help people, they depend on emotional intelligence, they meet people where they are, they inspire others to work toward a goal that doesn’t involve personal gain, they make things work when they empower people then get out of the way, they have loose connections that allow them to thrive on meeting new people, then mapping those people together who can then help each other or link together to meet a greater need, and they have a great tolerance and preference for ambiguity, knowing that if they are too much in the center or at the top of what is going on they will just end up getting in the way. To me when I look at these characteristics, I can’t help but see Jesus. I think it describes him very well. And I find it interesting how it ties in so much to the roles of good leaders, which got me thinking of how God is teaching me this same principle when it comes to worship. Some, who know me, know that I had struggled for a long time to express myself through worship. It’s not that I couldn’t, it’s just that I always felt that I was under a certain protocol, if you will. Now as I journey on, and as I sat in Mid-week service last night at my new church, I was given my worship rights back. Pastor shared how as true worshippers we are to set the temperature for the house of God. Anyone can stand there all day with hands raised, but if it isn’t done with the right heart, then you are just going through the motions. Even more important, is that we can’t wait for our feelings to engage in worship; we must come and give all for the one who gave all for us. What’s more, is that there are people walking in the doors who are broken, looking for hope, longing to worship in spirit and in truth but may feel unsure if they have that right. As true worshippers, like catalysts, we must have a genuine interest in others and lead by example, setting the temperature, giving them the green light to meet with God however they need to. We must empower them to meet with Jesus and find healing and wholeness. What’s most important I think is the piece on ambiguity. We must not only lead and empower by example, setting the thermostat of worship for others, but we must always remain humble and worship alone to God. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in wondering how many people around me have raised hands, as well as wondering if in tune with what is happening around me, but I am learning to constantly strip that off of me, and focus on him alone. I find it no small coincidence then this morning, that God would have me read John 4: 21-24 “21 Jesus replied, “Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans know very little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvation comes through the Jews. 23 But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. 24 For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” So today my prayer is one of Thanks to God for tying all these truths together for me, and teaching me to keep my focus on him; reminding me too, that worship is not just about our songs of praise, but it is a way of life, a way of sacrificial living toward others, and as we come to worship in the house of God, we give such thanks and adoration for all that He allows us to do and be a part of for his kingdom. May we all be catalysts of worship in every area of our lives. In Jesus’ Holy Name, I Pray, Amen.
Below is a letter that I wrote to my Prayer Team, Senior Pastor and other ministry leaders at my church as I have sought to follow and surrender to God and his will for my life. May it encourage you as you walk in surrender an obedience as well.
Coming Full-Circle: It Always Comes Back To Surrender and Obedience. As I listened to Pastor Jamie’s sermon this past Sunday, once again I heard those familiar words of Surrender; words that have carried me through, grown me, and shaped me in the last 6 years of sitting under Pastor Jim’s teachings. I have learned, as Chad has sung so many times to embrace surrender, running to God in many different seasons. I have been blessed to share with so many, all the miracles that God has bestowed on me, through good times and in bad. It has been a blessing beyond words to be such an integrated part of this church and this prayer team. Now, as I continue to walk in obedience and surrender, God is leading me on another adventure. It’s taken close to a year to hear and make sure that I understood what was being asked of me. At times I felt as though I was being tossed back and forth, not too sure where God wanted me to end up. And the more I sought to understand, the more I would cry out in surrender, telling him that I just wanted his will and not mine over and over. As I prayed and sought his voice, it would become clearer, to the point of unmistakable clarity that I could not ignore any longer. I had to make a decision. Even though God was using me in many ways here at Open Door, and could continue to do so, he wanted to increase my faith, he wanted to do some new things in and through me, he wanted me to experience him in new ways, and he was asking me if I would surrender, trust and obey. So, very much like Peter, who got out of the boat, out of his comfort zone into the unknown waters to have a life-changing experience with Jesus on the water ( Matt.14:22-33), I too have been ask to step out in faith, trusting and remembering all that he has done and brought me through thus far. For all the times that my heart felt torn and indecisive, his voice would remain and the peace of knowing that I was walking in his will finally would come. John Ortberg writes in his book “If You Want to Walk on Water, You Have To Get Out of the Boat”, that growth always takes faith, and faith takes risk, and risk is always scary! This too is what surrender is all about. When we choose his will and his ways instead of ours, when our hearts become fully abandoned to him and all we want is what he wants for us, we give God room to move. Whether you are the 11 disciples in the boat watching what is going on, or a church member watching others move out of a pew, God is always wanting to do more with us. What have you done with those sermon’s that convicted you? What do you do with that inner nudge that never seems to go away? I believe God puts those in all of us. We are created for such great purposes. We are saved and set apart for good works. It is the thrill of a lifetime to be used of God!!! Is scary, heck ya! But I know who’s driving my life, and that is all that matters. Are there tons of unknowns? Yes, tons, but that’s part of the adventure! I guess I have gotten to a point with God to say, “Lord, if you lead me to it, I have to trust and believe that you are going to lead me through it” I have to believe new relationships will come, I have to trust that all the small details and concerns of a single mom will be handled divinely. He hasn’t failed me yet, and I know he’s not going to. So, it is with bitter-sweet joy, excitement, and a good dose of Holy fear that I am being called out of Church of the Open Door and into the Church of the Nazarene. I will be heading out to Wooster Church of the Nazarene at least two times a week for now for Mid-week and Sunday services. I have been attending there on and off for the last 10 months, and God has met me in some really powerful ways that it was so clear without a shadow of a doubt that I am to be a part of this new congregation. My hope and prayer is that I will be able to move down there so I can be more involved in the church; so I would ask your continued prayers for me and Olivia that God will keep us safe as we travel, and that relationships will begin with others at the church. Here is the link, so you can see where I will be and pray for me as I journey on. I look forward to sharing with you more as God moves in my life. As a member of Open Door and the Prayer Team, I have been blessed beyond words. I have learned so much and experienced prayer on such new depths. I have grown with all of you and I am so grateful that God has placed me in your lives for this season to learn so much from you. Know that I will continue to pray for you as a team, and the body of Church of the Open Door, its Pastors and ministries, as well as fasting with you on the first Wed. of the month. I look forward to keeping up with you and hearing of how God is moving in your lives and at Open Door. I have learned so much and grown so much, it seems so hard to sum it up in words that always fall short of what is in my heart; but if I could encourage you out of the depths of my soul it would be this: Live surrendered. Learn to surrender in the everyday moments of life; it will help when the storms come. It will grow you closer to God in ways you never imagined, and when God calls you out of the boat in your life circumstances, you will be ready to risk it all for Jesus. Live in Holy fear of him. Never lose your reverence for who he is; he is Holy, and Powerful, as well as loving and full of mercy and grace. Strive to live in humility; it will keep your pride in check. I have had to learn to pray often for humility, especially when God wants to use me. Live in obedience to him. He is good, and he knows the plans and purposes for all of our lives. I have had to learn to trust him in that; looking back at all he has brought me through, knowing that the circumstances are life-lessons he wants me to learn from. Seek comfort and direction in his Word, ask him to lead you and speak to you, and teach you as you seek him there. Your relationship with him comes first above all else; above family and life demands. Love him with total abandonment and watch him grow you in leaps and bounds and use you in mighty ways. Give him your whole heart, because he gave his whole life for you! Love each other and live united as a team and church body, this bring a huge smile on his face, just think, those of you who have kids, the great joy it brings you when everyone gets along and lives in harmony. This too is God’s desire for his church. My prayer and my hope is that as I continue to walk in surrender and obedience I would shine for Jesus; that people would see that he is so worth the risk of a life lived surrendered. That too, is my prayer for each one of you, that you would live in such abandonment to God for all that he has done, that surrendering would be an out flowing of your heart to his. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support that have gotten me to this point, I am so grateful for all of you. I want to also thank Pastor Jim, who has been somewhat of a spiritual mentor to me these last several years and whom I have the utmost respect for, I dare say he probably is my hero, next to Jesus. When I see Pastor Jim, I see a life surrendered and it is that lifestyle of surrender that I have learned to seek and desire for myself and everyone at Church of the Open Door. Let me close in prayer, as the page is getting shorter J Father God, I am so grateful that you have placed me here at C.O.D. for this season. I pray that all would truly desire a life lived for you alone. I pray as I and others live lives of surrender and obedience that you be glorified and that others would desire to follow you in the same way. Continue to rise up your people at Open Door, grow them in the mission and vision and help them live and serve as Jesus did. We love you, and thank you for all you have done in our lives and we are so excited to see what you will continue to do as we live surrendered for you alone. In Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen!! Love, your sister in Christ, Robin Richards
Well, this Sunday started my first regular set of Sunday’s at my new church. I enjoyed the Sunday School class and the discussion on the 6th chapter of the book of John. The service was good, and yet, I had that uneasy feeling when everyone started greeting each other, feeling a little insecure, yet knowing things are going to just have to take time. I think it’s like this everywhere, in jobs, in families, in churches, it’s sometimes hard to be the new person. You get a bit self conscious and wonder if everyone is looking at you, but then I find myself worshipping in total abandonment and know that is a huge part of how I connect with God. It was interesting in the Sunday school class when we discussed back in Matthew 16:7, about John The Baptist, where Jesus asked the people what did you come here to see…? The thought was raised what do we come to church for? What do we come to see? Do we seek entertainment? Do we seek fellowship or warm fuzzies? I am sure there are many reasons we all come to church. Now, I was once again faced with what was mine? Never mind that fact that I drive an hour to go to this church, so to me this question is quite important indeed!! I felt God called me here after several things took place over a long period of time. I felt that as a student in seminary, being a part of this denomination and church would help me to one day be able to fulfill the call that God has placed on my life, even if I don’t know what that all is supposed to look like, God does. So as I went online today and listened to my previous pastor unveil new and exciting plans for his church, I had to trust and believe once again all the things that God has led me through to get me to this point. I remember too, how my former pastor said that I’d have feelings of questioning myself if I made the right decision, which I know I did, I just didn’t think it was going to hit me so soon, but God did, and perhaps it’s good that it did, before I had too much time go by to make me question even more. It all left me feeling a bit surreal; after all, I just returned home from my nieces high school graduation, and as the class was talked to and encouraged in their new life ahead, I sat there thinking on my new week of seminary starting tomorrow, and how excited I was for all God is going to teach me this semester. Then I got a message on facebook on how I was missed at my former church by a friend, then comes that grand sermon of the plans my former church is unpacking. Yes, I knew this was going to happen. I may of not know the details, but I had mentally prepared myself for such a time as this. I know that there will always be changes where ever I go, and as I told my friend on facebook, I have to trust and believe that I am walking in obedience. Is it scary and uncertain? Yes, but change always is. I have to keep looking back at all that God has done to get me to this point and continue to trust that it’s all going to be O.K. I don’t know what that looks like, but all I know is that today has enough worries for itself, and I will not get ahead of Jesus. So, today was mixed with an array of emotions, some exciting, some uncertain, some scary, some sad, and some happy. I guess it’s been somewhat of an emotional day, and isn’t that the beauty of humanity, that God has wired us with such detail! As I prepare now to drift into a sweet sleep, I know that tomorrow will come and God will have much for me to do to keep me busy and focused on him, reminding me that it’s all gonna be O.K. as I trust and obey.
